Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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