He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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