Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize