So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
