His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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