I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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