pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize