we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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