I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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