someone threw a dead crab at me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize