Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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