I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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