Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ashs2ashs hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??

Fav 12 1078 2342
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers

Fav 12 4178 1082
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job

Fav 7 3184 1005
share tweet
(+61): View more from Australia

He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds

Fav 8 1554 2835
share tweet
(409): View more from Texas

I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.

Fav 4 742 1538
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills

Fav 4 1064 1464
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.

Fav 3 1650 707
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.

Fav 1 265 177
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.

Fav 0 70 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT