I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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