actually, I'm a sock model
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
