You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
