maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
