he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
