The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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