People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
