and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
