I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He? As in you personified your dick?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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