the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
