3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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