Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
