5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
