Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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