I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
