I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
