dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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