just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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