Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
