Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
