ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize