Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sponge bath it is.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
