I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
