I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
