I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
