you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
