Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
