IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
