Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Sober January is a disaster.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
