god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
