I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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