I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize