In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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