Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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