Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
