The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
