24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize