I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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