Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize