I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
