we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
