Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He did a backflip because drugs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
