i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize