tell your sister to shave her snatch
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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