I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize